Although it is common for people to say rude words to their ex-spouse, some engage in full-on bashing. This can significantly affect your mental health as well as disrupt your daily activities. Hearing things about yourself from others is not something someone wants while going through a divorce.
An ex-spouse that badmouths you can increase conflicts in a divorce. No matter how much you try to maintain your end of the relationship, you cannot make your ex listen to you. If you are dealing with an ex that badmouths you, you are not alone. Contact a divorce lawyer in Boston, MA, to understand your options.
Ways to respond when your ex badmouths you
- Accept the reality of the situation.
First things first, accept that you cannot change what is happening. Exes turning bitter after separation is a common sight, and everyone should somewhat see it coming. Even though that person had listened to you during the marriage, there is nothing that you can do or say to them that will change their behavior. They have already made up their mind about you, and it is better if you too accept your reality.
- Avoid reacting to the rumors spread by them.
Your ex-spouse in Boston may be spreading horrible rumors about you when badmouthing you. They will try their best to make you look like the villain and themselves the victim in the divorce. However, you need to play smart by not reacting to these false facts at all. Perhaps your reaction and frustration are all they want from you, and when you give them the opposite, they will eventually stop it. Instead, try to correct the situation by simply saying it is not true.
- Do not defend yourself.
If defending yourself would have helped the situation, your ex-spouse would not have been badmouthing you in the first place. Of course, it is natural to want to defend yourself when someone spins a weird story about you that is untrue. However, you must resist the urge. The more you defend yourself, the more things your ex is going to come up with. Instead, remind yourself that what they think of you is not your problem.
- Do not do what they are doing.
When someone portrays you as the culprit when you are the victim, you may want to accuse the other person back. Saying things like “He did this and that” won’t help the situation. The people who believe your ex will only believe them, and defending yourself will only make you look like a liar. Instead, spend time with people who believe you.